The Ice in My Mojito (Key: C-major intro, B-flat major refrain)
Voice - Digital Sheet Music

"The Ice in My Mojito" is a satirical song, in a rumba style. Channeling the tongue-in-cheek spirit of the old Colbert Report, the positive message on climate change is conveyed through caricature by a narcissistic guy who Just Doesn't Care.

This is a vocal arrangement with piano accompaniment and chord symbols. The introduction is in the key of C-major. The rest of the song is in B-flat major.

Lyrics:

The sky is falling; the sea is rising.
To all of this I say "Pish"
A sea level rise, I would characterize,
As more elbow room for the fish.

They cry that the glaciers are melting.
Against global warming they rail.
I have a similar problem.
Though my devastation’s on a smaller scale.

The ice in my Mojito is melting! Oh what can I do?
If the cubes don’t clink, I can’t drink the drink.
I’ll be thirsty 'til the day is through.
The ice in my Mojito is melting! Oh, what can I say?
If it dilutes the drink, I’ll have to throw it down the sink,
And be sober for the rest of the day.

I went to get ice from the Frigidaire,
But the bin was empty: nothin’ there!
The ice had all melted – the freezer was warm.
Another Blackout!       Another tropical storm.

The ice in my Mojito is melting! Oh what can I do?
If the cubes don’t clink, I can’t drink the drink.
I’ll be thirsty 'til the day is through.
The ice in my Mojito is melting! Oh, what can I say?
If it the drink’s too weak, my prognosis is bleak,
Without my buzz, I can’t face the day.

There’s an iceberg floating in the Golden Gate.
Carve  me off a chunk! Don’t make me wait!
The ice in my cocktail is melting fast.
If there’s no more ice, this could be my last … MOJITO!!!

Some say that I’m being selfish. I call it living well.
I like to live like a shellfish.
The world I care about’s the one inside my shell.

I s’pose a little conservation could improve my reputation.
I could change my demeanor and commit to living greener.
I could really score some karma - become a wind farmer.
I could ride my bike next summer; I could even sell the Hummer!

Wait. Sell the Hummer? NO!!!
It’s not my job to save the planet. Take your C-O-2 and can it!
I got problems of my own.

See, the ice in my Mojito is melting! Oh what can I do?
If the cubes don’t clink, I can’t drink the drink.
I’ll be thirsty 'til the day is through.

The ice in my Mojito is melting! Oh, what can I say?
It's time to get out of the sun and call 9-1-1
It’s an emergency.   Of utmost urgency.
Because the ice in my Mojito … Is Melting!