Why Are The Walls Shaking? Piano Solo - Digital Sheet Music

SKU: A0.1946676

Growing up, even at a very, very young age, there was so much instability in my life. My parents were divorced, and going back and forth from my mom to my dad and then back again felt so jarring. That, paired with the constant arguments I'd witness or hear at home felt so... confusing. With both the divorce and the arguments at play, it felt like my emotions were constantly shifting from happiness and peace to intense sadness and fear. The arguing, and then spending time with my family after like nothing bad just happened. Or, in the case of the divorce, feeling the emotion of missing either one of my parents whenever I left to see the other, only to start feeling better, then having to leave again. This back and forth... this instability... was so confusing to me. The original title of this song was going to be "Why is this happening?" To demonstrate how the concepts of a divorce and conflict and all of these emotions being scrambled up was so confusing to me. So scary. The current title, "Why are the walls shaking?" felt like a more appropriate one to represent a childlike lack of understanding. This instability made me want to cling onto others, because I guess as a young child I felt the only way to stop the constant cycle of emotions I was feeling due to the constant instability in my home life was to become attached to someone else, because I felt like I was constantly being pulled away from people. This constant back and forth occurred in almost every aspect of my life as a child. This created an extremely strong desire to be a part of any group, or to fit in with others, and to be friends with as many people as possible. Of course, whenever I got my selective mutism, my desire to stay away from people and to not open up to people became stronger, but when that started to get better, my desire to be a part of a group and to be friends with everyone came back. Little 5 year old me just wanted to be a part of the group. Over the years, my trauma started telling me that there must be something wrong with me due to the fact that not everyone wanted to be my friend. That is the type of emotion and thought process I have been dealing with and struggling with as I am navigating college, and that's what came up, so I felt the need to make this song.