Le Chant Du Saboteur Piano Solo - Digital Sheet Music

SKU: A0.1945446

This song is an extremely detailed and intricate one, and when making it I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by all of the emotions that were coming up. This is by far one of the darkest songs I've ever made. To those who know my song "L'Appel Du Vide" and the backstory of it, and how it was about how a particular horrible event caused my mental condition to spiral until I was having these horrible breakdowns and intrusive thoughts, this song, "Le Chant Du Saboteur," is about that event itself. This will be part of my 6th upcoming Sonata in which I go through trauma involving relationships. When I was 20 years old, I discovered someone who I knew had harmed one of my beloved cats in a very cruel and sadistic manner and the purpose for which it was carried out. This was acted out specifically out of spite. Like a saboteur, who was trying to hurt me or others I cared about. My relationship with this individual was one in which things like this had happened frequently for years, but I was made to believe I was crazy for thinking they were doing that. However, after given definitive proof, this proved they did it, and cemented in my head the idea that they were doing other things before, literally trying to hurt or inconvenience me or others I cared about out of spite. The song begins before I found out about the event. This was two years after my suicide attempt, and I was struggling so badly mentally, going to college for Music but not putting any effort into anything. That is what the first part of the song conveys. How I felt so scarred and broken, and how my beloved cats kept going missing, and I didn't know why. Then, the song calms, representing me going to sleep one evening, before speeding up frantically, demonstrating I was awoken and learned of what happened. The rest of the song represents a mental spiral that turns into grief, pain, and betrayal, after realizing that this individual will receive no punishment or repercussions for their actions. Being made to feel like I was in the wrong caused ME to feel like I was sabotaging everything. So that's what I started doing. In my relationships and friendships. Which is what will be present as I continue this sonata.